Missy's Story

I had an abortion five days ago. I am a mother of a 3 year old little girl. I have been with my fiance for a year. He is not my daughter's biological father but in every respect he is her daddy. I took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago though I did not need the test to know I was pregnant being pregnant before I knew the signs. Before I took the test I knew that an abortion was the best answer for us.

Though my fiance at first said there was no way he could let me do it. We are in the process of buying our first home and, the pregnancy would put buying a house off for a few more years. I want our daughter to have a back yard, a swing set, grow up in a home not an apartment. So when I explained all this to my fiance as we can make our daughter's life better or live here with 2 kids he finally agreed.

So I made the appointment - at first I choose medical abortion but after reading up on it, I changed my mind. I decided I would rather leave the clinic knowing it was over rather than having to wait in some cases a few weeks.

I have read many story's from women who have had an abortion and, I can't believe some of the clinics out there. I was never treated like just another number I recieved counseling before the procedure and, it was even offered to my fiance. The doctor was very friendly even joking. That may sound harsh but he was joking about stocks not the procedure and, it helped to lighten the procedure.I had a support person with me the whole time who helped me through it by telling me when I was halfway through and telling me I was doing good.

In the recovery room there was 3 nurses who acted like their main focus was making sure I was comfortable and doing okay. I was given aftercare instructions before and after. Since I choose to have Valuim before I was told to have someone else drive me home and, they made sure I did. I was also told things to watch for that might indicate an infection and given a 24 hour number to call for problems or to talk to someone.

This is not something I ever felt I could choose for myself. I have gone with 2 friends as a support person when they have had an abortion and, our friendship has ended soon after because, I never could forgive them for their choice. Now looking back I want to tell them I am sorry and, wish I could have been a better friend to them. It wasn't an easy decision for either of them and, it wasn't for me either.

I am so lucky for my daughter - being with her is so hard to be sad with the love she gives me. I know I made the right choice for my family and, I hope someone will read this and know that this is not a selfish decision to make but, quite the opposite if we feel we are not ready for a child or, like in my case another child, then this is the right choice. I will always feel sadness for what I have done but, I also feel relief that as a family we have the choice to move on and, better our life for our daughter.

August 2004

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