Lashawn's Story

I just had an abortion yesterday and I just feel relieved towards the entire ordeal.

I met a guy three months ago that I knew wouldn't be serious because he is 5 years younger than me. I am 24 and he is 19. Things got serious to my surprise and we decided to become sexually involved. We would always practice safe sex, but then that one memorable night...We were so into it that we just completely forgot. He thought he "pulled out" in time but apparently he did not. I had just finished my cycle two days before this romp so a month went by and i didn't know i was pregnant.

Finally when it was time for my cycle to start again, I got concerned because it was late and I am NEVER late. So i took three tests in disbelief and of course they came out positive. I was scared and shocked and I distinctly remember thinking, "I know what I have to do" I cried only once for a total of about 5 minutes through this entire ordeal. I never had any pregnancy symptoms, no nausea, soreness, discomfort.. anything. I never felt pregnant.

We agreed that neither of us were ready for a baby. Although it took him longer to agree with me because his mother wanted to abort him and he just felt strongly against the entire thing. But I explained to him that I already live paycheck to paycheck and he was still in school. My parents were moving to Atlanta and I knew I just wouldn't have that family support that I needed.

So I called the clinic and scheduled the appointment. I had to wait a week until they could see me and mother's day was around the corner, how awkward. I am a religious person and I fretted back and forth is God would ever forgive me for what I was going to do. I believe everything happens for a reason and if something interfered with this abortion than it was a sign and I had to have this baby. But everything went "perfectly" I spent the entire day with my mother and she noticed nothing different about me ( i kinda felt that mother's had a sixth sense about these things and she would be able to pick up on it, but she didn't).

So there I was. Sitting in the waiting room while a nurse called me back several times for a urine test, ultrasounds, medical history. meds, and finally the procedure. The procedure was about 5 minutes and they described it perfectly. About 1 minute of intense cramping, 1 minute of this pumping vacuum feeling and then it's over. I was so relieved and yet to this day I can't believe what I went through. I know I made the right choice but I wish I would have never had to have made this choice at all. The doctor put me on birth control immediately and I can't begin to explain how friendly the nurses and doctors were.

Only two people know. Being able to share it here on this website with someone going through the same experience is so liberating.

Ladies... know that you have a choice, know that you are not alone...

May 2009

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