Jillian's Story

I was seeing this guy for a while. I met him through a friend and we got along great right away. There was only one drawback. He was 25 and I am 17. I tried to brush it off like the age difference was no big deal. The night we "officially" were together, I drove over to see him and my friends, and then I went home and they came later to pick me up. I knew that we would end up drinking, since I was staying out that way that night. I didn't know until later after all of us had been drinking that I was going to stay the night with my boyfriend.

So after everyone left, we were sitting around and that was the first time that we had sex. At first I didn't want to because I don't like doing things that I may regret In the future. So we were fooling around, and he kept wanting to, and after I said no, he seemed alright with it. Then he started at it again and I just gave in, thinking that I would be alright. BIG MISTAKE.

So afterwards I felt alright, I fell asleep in his arms and I thought I would feel better in the morning. The next morning he brought me home, he gave me a kiss and my sister, who doesn't believe in interracial relationships, gave me a hard time about it.

2 weeks later when I was supposed to get my period, I didn't. I waited about a week because I was worried to take a test, but when I finally did, it came back positive. I mean I have only had sex with 2 people in my entire life, I'm not like a hoe or anything. I had to tell my sister (my aunt was with me when I took the test) and she told me that I needed to tell my mom. THAT WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO IN MY LIFE. My mom is a single mother, my dads not in our life, so this broke her heart.

I decided that i needed to have an abortion. I was about to be a senior in high school and i felt pressured and persuaded to have an abortion, which i should have gone with my instinct. Well the night i found out, i called my boyfriend and told him and he acted like it was no big deal. After all, he already had 3 kids, so it wasn't a big deal to him. But i was a young naive girl who thought that this guy would be different. NOPE. The night before the operation, I called my boyfriend because I was upset, but I found out that he was out getting drunk. HOW SENSITIVE.

He wasn't home the day I went to the clinic, and he didn't know. Afterwards, he yelled at me for not telling him and we got into a huge argument. He said he still wanted to be with me but it was my fault. After putting up with more of his threats and beating down my self esteem, i knew i had to leave him. And now, 4 months later, I'm the one dealing with the emotional pain and he doesn't give a damn.

October 2003

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