I am 25 years old, engaged to be married in July.
I found out last October that I was pregnant. Initially, my fiancé were
happy at the prospect of becoming parents. We even chose names for our baby. Cecelia
Katherine and Stephen Russell (his name). I wanted to tell our parents, but I
finally realized that he was not acting right, he admitted he was petrified. I
finally told him that I didn't want to have a baby under such circumstances. I
wanted this to be a happy and exciting time for us, and a part of that joy should
be telling our parents.
I told him I thought I should have an abortion.
He was very supportive of my decision. Right afterwards, I felt a sense of freedom.
I threw myself into planning our wedding, but I couldn't shake the feeling that
I would also be planning the birth of our baby. I have begun to get the overwhelming
feeling to have a replacement baby. I am continually thinking about where I would
be in my pregnancy now (7 and a half months!) and May 6, that was our baby's due
date. But, while it hurts to think that I will not be becoming a mother in May,
I look forward to the day sometime in the near future when my fiancé are
married and can be excited to tell our parents that we're going to have a baby.Tara
24 March 2002
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our heritage is our power; we can know ourselves and our capacities by seeing
that other women have been strong."
- Judy Chicago, feminist artist