My name samantha
and it´s been three years since my abortion.
it was the middle of my sophomore year, and i had everything
i wanted. i was into sports, got good grades, had the best
friends anyone could have and i had been together with my
boyfriend for 6 months now. i was a varsity cheerleader and
the sweet girl everyone got along with. when i broke up with
my boyfriend i got really depressed. i quit cheerleading and
started to hang out with older kids and stopped hanging out
with my friends from school. i remember my best friend ashley
telling me i wasn't in the right track and that i had to get
over it and stop hanging out with the people i was with, but
i didn't listen. my grades got worse and i started skipping
on new year's eve, a really sweet guy invited me to a party
he was throwing that night, i remember going with one of my
new girlfriends i barely knew. that night i had two beers
and before i knew it i passed out. well, no one passes out
with two beers, and the next thing i remember was waking up
with some kid on top of me. i remember telling him it hurt
and to leave me alone, but i went unconscious again. the next
morning i woke up completely naked next to the guy that had
invited me, i remember throwing up as soon as i woke up. i
got up and got away as fast as i could trying not to wake
anyone up. when i got home the first thing i did was fall
asleep and didn't wake up til the next day.
i was terrified. i had no idea what had happened. i had very
few flash backs. i was totally shocked and denied to talk
to anyone who called. my mother was worried and when school
started i refused to go back to school. i had to tell my mom
even though i didn't really get along. surprisingly, she didn't
yell or get mad. she understood and we cried for an hour.
the next day, we went to the police and they made me tell
everything with detail. they weren't surprised. according
to the police i talked to, it wasn't the first time it had
happened in that house. i cried endlessly those days. i couldn't
talk or see anyone, and everyone had a million questions.
i even stopped talking to ashley.
the police said it was necessary that i went to the gyno,
which was the last place i really wanted to go to. i made
my appointment and went with my mom and a friend named amity.
everything was fine except that i was pregnant. everything
was going wrong and i just couldn't stand it. without thinking
i told them i wanted to have an abortion. no one questioned
me and my mom and amity totally supported me. i didn't want
my baby to grow up without a father like i had, and i didn't
know if i was going to be able to handle everything plus a
i was two months pregnant when i had an abortion. it was
the most painful thing i have ever experienced. and i think
the most traumatic also. i felt every little thing they did
to me. to this day i still cry over my baby and wonder sometimes
how old it would be now or whether it was a girl or a boy.
i still can´t go to the gyno without remembering everything
and feeling anxiety. but i think overall it was the right
decision. i still have trouble going back to where i lived
and seeing those guys out of jail. but i think you learn from
every experience you have and i think what i learned was to
appreciate everything i have, especially the people who care
in this case i wanna thank my mom and my best friend now,
amity. you two are the best friends anyone could have and
the most important people in my life.
24 Jan 04
more stories -- share your story
Abuse and Incest National Network Hotline