Its been one year since I birthed
my daughter and myself as a mother. It has been the most challenging, fulfilling
and creative time in my life, and I feel that all my past experiences have led
me to this point of take-off into motherhood. Previously I had two abortions and
a disappointing miscarriage. My abortion decisions were full of emotion and grief,
but I instinctively knew I wasnt ready to be a mom. Now Im often overwhelmed
with gratitude that I was able to choose motherhood at a time when I can relish
During my pregnancy I continued to work at Cedar
River Clinic. This situation broadened my understanding of reproductive choice.
I was so excited about my child to be and I often thought, yes this is how
women deserve to feel about bringing a new person into the world. Choosing
abortion doesnt mean you dont embrace life, but can mean just the
opposite, that in respect and awe of life, motherhood deserves a time in a womans
life that can be welcomed.
Interestingly as a pregnant counselor, I found
that clients more often talked about or brought up their children in the session.
For some, I felt it was comforting to find this cyclical thread and I felt honored
to bear witness to these womens stories. This brought to my awareness how
interconnected life and death are. Death, being not an end, but part of the cycle
of life and often the impetus for new growth and creativity. I was particularly
blessed in my job situation in that I was surrounded by supportive and empathetic
coworkers. The whole clinic was very involved in my pregnancy as a positive force.
People sometimes seem surprised when I tell them how supportive my coworkers were.
It really makes perfect sense; these are people who care for women and respect
womens choices, so of course they were there for me.
It is strikingly
apparent that in order to navigate our lives to the best of our abilities we must
be able to choose when and if to mother children. Women are powerfully creative
when we are able to follow our intuitive nature. I trust this. On this Mothers
Day I am thankful. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, I am thankful to my
friends at CRC, and Im thankful that in my adult lifetime I was able to
choose when I wanted to journey into motherhood. I hope in my daughters
lifetime it wont be a privilege but an undeniable right of womanhood.Ronly is a mother, dancer and choreographer.
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