Ronly's Story

It’s been one year since I birthed my daughter and myself as a mother. It has been the most challenging, fulfilling and creative time in my life, and I feel that all my past experiences have led me to this point of take-off into motherhood. Previously I had two abortions and a disappointing miscarriage. My abortion decisions were full of emotion and grief, but I instinctively knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom. Now I’m often overwhelmed with gratitude that I was able to choose motherhood at a time when I can relish the role.

During my pregnancy I continued to work at Cedar River Clinic. This situation broadened my understanding of reproductive choice. I was so excited about my child to be and I often thought, “yes this is how women deserve to feel about bringing a new person into the world.” Choosing abortion doesn’t mean you don’t embrace life, but can mean just the opposite, that in respect and awe of life, motherhood deserves a time in a woman’s life that can be welcomed.

Interestingly as a pregnant counselor, I found that clients more often talked about or brought up their children in the session. For some, I felt it was comforting to find this cyclical thread and I felt honored to bear witness to these women’s stories. This brought to my awareness how interconnected life and death are. Death, being not an end, but part of the cycle of life and often the impetus for new growth and creativity. I was particularly blessed in my job situation in that I was surrounded by supportive and empathetic coworkers. The whole clinic was very involved in my pregnancy as a positive force. People sometimes seem surprised when I tell them how supportive my coworkers were. It really makes perfect sense; these are people who care for women and respect women’s choices, so of course they were there for me.

It is strikingly apparent that in order to navigate our lives to the best of our abilities we must be able to choose when and if to mother children. Women are powerfully creative when we are able to follow our intuitive nature. I trust this. On this Mother’s Day I am thankful. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, I am thankful to my friends at CRC, and I’m thankful that in my adult lifetime I was able to choose when I wanted to journey into motherhood. I hope in my daughter’s lifetime it won’t be a privilege but an undeniable right of womanhood.

Ronly is a mother, dancer and choreographer.
May 1997

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Ronly teaches the Fertility Awareness Method for birth control and family planning.