Phaedra's Story

I had an abortion 3 weeks ago. I am a mother of 2 and I'm married. My youngest is ten months old and I just got back into school. We live on campus and my husband and I are both full time students. We are resident assistants for family housing, which is basically like a community coordinator, landlord, leadership type job. We have really come a long way, getting me back into school and my husband starting college as a freshman at age 25 with 2 kids. Our families are so proud of us.

So when I learned I was pregnant again I really freaked out. We agreed right away to not keep the baby. I had already dreamt about the beautiful little girl that now grew inside of me, as I did with my other two children, even before I learned I was pregnant. Call it women's intuition.... whatever. I just know some things.

I called the clinic and I was crying telling them I already have 2 children and my son is so young... they were very comforting and supportive telling me my feelings were normal. I scheduled my appointment in a town 2 hours from our home because I wanted to get in as soon as possible.

The day came and when they called my name I went in a room with 8 other women. We watched a movie about the procedure... we all talked and we even laughed. It was nice to be surrounded by people in a similar situation. They gave us valium and then took us back one by one... most of the other women cried but I did not... not at the clinic. I cried at home alone in my room.

I embraced and still embrace my grief of the loss of my child. However my life is back on track... I am back in class and working... my community event this month is positive parenting. I feel I made the right choice and I even feel safer talking about it now.

Before I had the abortion I only told one person besides my husband, my best friend who lives many miles away. Tomorrow she goes in for an abortion also... doctors told her she probably couldn't have children and now she is blessed with the knowledge that she can and the choice to decide when that time is right. I feel we are so lucky to have the choice... the choice for every child to be wanted.

4 November 2000

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"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt