I am 20 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for three years. There's no doubt in my mind that we will end up marrying in the future. I've talked to my parents about the subject and I've even prayed about many times. Recently though, I decided that I wanted to take a break from the relationship. He was shocked, but he respected my wishes and we broke up for a little while.
During the break-up, I told myself that it was okay to meet new people since I didn't have the "girlfriend" title anymore. I started talking to a guy that I had known since my first year of college. It was nothing serious, but we ended up having unprotected sex. After patiently waiting for my period, I decided that I needed to take a pregnancy test. My periods are often irregular so I wasn't that worried, but something just didn't feel right. I just felt pregnant (if that makes sense). I sat in shock and fear as the nurse at the University health center told me the test was positive. A million things ran through my head. What would my parents think? What would my boyfriend think? Am I ready to be someone's mother? I decided the answer to that last question was no. Up until this point, my opinion concerning abortion was vague. I honestly never thought I would be in a position where I would have to make that decision.
My roommate, myself, and the father made the early morning trip to the clinic. The ride there was surprisingly easy. We laughed and talked in the car as we sat in traffic. I would have to say that my breaking point was when the doctor had to do an ultrasound. I could tell they didn't want me to see the image on the screen, but I just had to look. That's when all the emotions that I had been holding in hit me. As I looked at the image of the 5 week old embryo, the life that could have been flashed before my eyes. Is it a boy or a girl? What would it have looked like? What kind of personality would it have had? What impact would it have had on the world? All these things bombarded my mind as the tranquilizers kicked in and I fell asleep. Eventually I told my parents and my boyfriend. They were shocked, but they supported me. I know that deciding not to go through with the pregnancy was the best decision for me right now. I would be lying though if I said I don't still have some "down" days. Getting these feelings out is actually helping me a lot. I'm so glad that there are venues like this where women can be honest with themselves and just vent.
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