Two months ago today
It's been exactly two months today since
I had my abortion. I still know it was the right choice. I found out I was pregnant
in December. I had just turned 18, a freshman at college. I was scared at first,
then I got hysterical. I called my best friend, who picked me up and took me to
her apartment. Then we went and got my boyfriend, the father. When I told him
he was shocked, and a little scared too. We sat up at my friend's apartment, the
three of us, drinking tea and talking about our options. By then, I was 6 weeks
There was no way I could tell my parents. They were unsupportive
my whole life, and going to them for help was not an option. I felt a little closed
in at that point. I knew that having this child would mean being kicked out of
my parent's house and being forced to quit college, regardless if I kept the child
or gave it up for adoption. College was my life at that point, and I couldn't
bear to give it up. So I decided I wanted an abortion.
My boyfriend cried
at that point, but he was supportive. To this day, I am so proud of the way he
handled this. So many guys would have walked away upon hearing the words "I'm
pregnant". I was on Christmas break then, so the three of us decided to wait
until I returned to school for the abortion. We made plans for the two of them
to visit me on a weekend so they would be there with me when it happened. I spent
a lot of time with my boyfriend the rest of break, and as he got used to the idea
of a child the more happy he became. He would put his hand on my stomach and smile
all the time. But never once did he ask me to change my mind.
I began researching local abortion clinics. I finally chose one I felt comfortable
with. I made the appointment, and my friend and boyfriend came to visit me that
weekend. We were all nervous, but they were very supportive of me. The morning
of the abortion came, and we drove to the clinic. I went through all the tests,
urine samples and blood tests, as my friend and boyfriend sat in the waiting room.
There were five women there, and we all joked about the tests together, but we
were all nervous.
When I went in for my counseling session, I asked about
the effects of some medicine I had been taking on the baby. I had heard that this
medicine caused severe developmental problems, but I wanted to be sure. The counselor
told me those things were true. She told me my child would have been born with
half a nervous system, severely retarded. It saddened me to know that for my own
problems, my child would have suffered so much. But it helped me to know that
I was making the right decision.
The time came, and I went back into the
room after hugs from my friend and boyfriend. I began to be really scared. One
of the nurses promised me she would talk me through the entire thing. She was
holding my hand as the doctor came in. The doctor was friendly and reassuring.
I knew it would hurt, because the nurses had told me, so I was expecting the pain
when it came. I won't lie to you. It really did hurt. But my nurses kept talking
to me and stroking my forehead, and the doctor warned me when it was going to
hurt. In about 3 minutes, it was over.
My nurses helped me into the recovery
room, where a few of the others were already waiting. They gave me juice and I
relaxed and talked with the others. It was good to know that I wasn't the only
one, and the nurses came around checking on us. In my comfy chair with a blanket
on me and a cup of juice in my hand, I felt more like I was on vacation than in
recovery. I seriously felt fine, aside from being a bit weak.
After a while,
they released me and I went out to my friend and boyfriend, who during the operation,
had run and gotten me flowers. Then we left.
Now, two months later, I am
still happy with my choice. My only guilt comes from knowing that my medicine
affected my child. My boyfriend and I are still together, and once in a while
we cry about our child together. When I go to the store and see the baby things,
I sometimes miss our child. But I know it was for the best, and I do not regret
Every day I am thankful for my boyfriend, for my friend, and for the
clinic that made such a tough time in my life a little more positive.Molly
19 March 1999
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fourth of all women live in countries where abortion is a crime.