Mary's Story

I am 11 or twelve weeks pregnant and in love with my man who calls me his wife. We get along very well except for the past few months when my hormones have been crazy, bringing disagreements about the business we've started together.

The problems lie with the women we've brought on the team disrespecting me and prying into our personal lives, through him, due to their attraction to him. My pointing it out so much and getting angry about him not letting the women know he is taken, had him so frustrated that he shouted in anger that, "We messed up, we messed up, that I am insecure, he can't be with me, my insecurities are going to hold him back in life, I don't trust him etc.." It seems as though he doesn't truly understand what I'm going through with my pregnancy. But also, I feel he should listen to my intuition about these other women, even though he says he does. Although I understand from experience, about saying things we don't mean, that statement has caused me to reevaluate having this baby.

He stated in his anger that he'd always take care of us, but I have two small children from a previous relationship, which has left me struggling to survive. He is totally against abortion and I can't talk to him about this. I can talk to him about everything else but I know that this decision, I must make on my own. He'd want me to have the baby. However, he would leave me handling the day-to-day of 3 kids, as he supports me in other ways. That's scary. He's sweet and I know financially we'd be okay if our relationship didn't work out, but I want the father beside me working it out.

Before I became pregnant, we envisioned having children later. We both feel that we will have a successful relationship and we both know that this happened too early. Also, he lost his mother and best friend two months ago and is a nervous wreck sometimes - understandable of course. All this points to my decision of terminating our angel so that we can grow as two people and have a family at a better time. It is still very hard though.

25 January 2002

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"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." -Cheris Kramer & Paula Treichler