Marie's Story

I was 18 years old when I found out that I was pregnant. August of 2002 I did not have my period at all. I waited until August 31st to take a pregnancy test. I went alone to the store that day and bought a test. I took it a home, and it came out positive. I broke down with tears from my eyes...It wasn't something I knew how to react to and wasn't ready to react to. I just barely started my freshman year in college and I couldn't quit now. I remember that I immediately drove to my boyfriends work (we have been together for 4 1/2 years) and showed him the test. We both sat in silence, I'm sure thinking that the same exact things. "How could this be happening? We are too young. What are we going to do?"

Two weeks later I went to get an ultrasound. I was nearly 2 months along. I cried, even though it looked like a blob. That was MY baby. For everyone who thinks just because you get your period means your not pregnant. It's all wrong. I did have my period at the end of July, but I was already pregnant before then. We talked about our situation ALL the time. And we finally decided to have an abortion. Still then I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted to do but I couldn't wait any longer. September 21, 2002 I went to PPH. I was nervous and couldn't talk or even look at my boyfriend. I was waiting in line to get rid of my baby!??! How could I even stoop down to such a low level?? I went in, laid on the table, and went through the most horrifying and most painful procedure ever!! I cried during the whole thing, I let my baby go.

It's June of 2003, it has been 8 months since my abortion. And I still have not forgotten about it. I think about it everyday. I know it would have been hard to care for a baby at my age. But I put my baby responsible for our action and punished "it". He/she would be here with us right now being blessed with tender love & care. I have a few friends that have a child in their life and say it's the best thing God can give them. I wish I would have thought through my decision more carefully. Even if it does bring stress, No matter how bad/good of a day you had, coming home to YOUR baby will automatically put a smile on your face.

I'm writing to anyone who is confused or undecided on whether they want an abortion or not. Make sure it is YOUR own decision and make sure it's truly what you want. Whatever you decide is the best decision and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

12 June 2003

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"Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without words
And never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson