I found out I was pregnant June of 05, the same week that my best friend's brother was killed. I took two pregnancy tests, One while I was inside of the rest room of a Burger King. It came out postive. I went around a near by mall with my friend crying and thinking about how I was going to tell my boyfriend. I called him and tell him, all he says is how much he loves me and that it will be ok.
I didn't decide until after my birthday in July that I would get an abortion. I had always thought that I would never be in the situation. I was trying to rationalize how I could continue my life with a child, especially since my cousin had just had one. I thought I could still go to school and get a degree, but with what money. I talked to my mom about it, I talked to friends. My boyfriend wanted me to go ahead and get one because he said "I don't want to ruin your life". I was 2 weeks away from entering my sophmore year of college and 2 weeks after my 19th birthday when I had it done.
The thing that kills me is thinking about whether my baby could feel it, I had it when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I didn't know how far I was along until the day before the abortion when they did my ultrasound. I am so glad my boyfriend was next to me the whole time holding my hand and taking care of me. If he wouldn't have been there, I wouldn't be in the healthy state I am now. I hope that we will continue to stay together and maybe in the future when we can afford to take care of a child, we will have one together.
I don't want for any woman that feels she must have an abortion to feel ashamed if there is justification. You have the right to do so, it is your life, make your own decisions don't let someone else do it for you.
February 16, 2007
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