I had just turned 20 when I became pregnant. I was dating a guy for 3 months, and saw a real future with him. I was in the middle of my college education.
I was a few weeks late for my period, but I wasn't too worried because my period was often not on time. I decided to take a pregnancy test anyway because I thought it would calm my nerves. But it was positive. I immediately called my boyfriend and cried.
That night we discussed all of our options. Part of me really wanted to have the baby. I was never someone would particularly liked the idea of abortion. I was pro-choice, but just never thought I would do it. Also, because I was 20, and not younger, I felt I could handle the responsibility of having a baby. I also saw a future with my boyfriend which made it very hard to have an abortion.
The more I thought about it though, my logical side won over my emotional side. I wanted to finish college and have a job that would support myself and a future family well. I wanted to provide my child with a lifestyle that was a good as the one I was brought up in. Financially, I would not be able to do that if I had a baby then. Also, even though I saw a future with my boyfriend, I was not ready to commit to him for the rest of my life. Whether we stayed together or not, he would be part of my life forever if we had a baby. Basically, I decided that even though things could work out just fine,there was a greater chance that they wouldn't. It was a gamble with my life, my boyfriend's life, and most importantly with the baby's. It was a gamble I decided I couldn't take.
Deciding to have an abortion was extremley difficult. I pray I never have to make a choice so hard again. I cried every day up until the day I went to the doctor.
Everyone at the office was very nice and understanding. I want to stress that it is very important to find a good place to have an abortion. I went to a doctors office, not a clinic. I feel being comfortable while you're there is a major key in feeling ok after the procedure.
I chose to have a non-surgical abortion because I was only 5 weeks pregnant. It seemed less scary. The first time I went to the office, I recieved a shot. For about 5 days, I had a very restriced diet, but did not feel any side effects. 5 days after the shot I inserted pills which induced a miscarriage. I experienced cramping and bleeding for a few days. 2 weeks later I went for a follow up exam to make sure everything was ok. All in all, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
I thought after the abortion I would be a mess emotionally. I wasn't at all. I acutally felt very relieved and have not cried once. I do not regret my decision, but I am very sensitive to any talk about abortion. I know my choice was right and I encourage anyone who is not sure if they are ready to have a baby to consider this option.
I want to have children in the future once I'm married and have a job. I'm hoping within the next 10 years I'll have a least one kid. But when I become pregnant again, I want to be excited. I want everyone else to be excited as well. I didn't want my pregnancy to be looked down upon or regretted. And thats why I know I did the right thing.
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