I have been married to a wonderful
man for just over a year now. I am 27 and my husband is 26. We are finally getting
on our feet. Slowly we are paying off past debts and getting better credit. I
am finishing my degree by going to school through an accredited college on the
Internet. We live in the ghetto and have plans to move when I get a better paying
job and my husband can go to school.
My period was late this month. I knew
it. I knew I was pregnant but allowed denial let me wait a week and see. I usually
go 5 weeks instead of the traditional 4. So on Friday, 6 1/2 weeks past my last
period, with shaking hands, I took the test. It was 4:30 am. I knew that the best
time to do it was in the morning, so I had left the EPT next to the sink for when
I woke up to use the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, chanting please be only
1 line, I didn't wait the full 5 minutes. It was about 30 seconds and I looked.
There they were staring at me, two pink lines. I take that back. The test window
to make sure it was working had a pink line. The window that shows you are pregnant
was almost magenta. I thought, I am not just pregnant, I am VERY pregnant.
crawled into bed next to my husband and slowly said his name. I told him it was
positive and then started crying. That is all I really remember about Friday,
crying the day away. My husband instantly wanted to schedule an abortion but I
was torn. I had been raised in a strict catholic family. My sisters had both just
had babies. If I kept this baby, all of our babies would have been born in the
First we looked at the pill RU-386, the more I read about that
pill the more scared I became. I just wished that I could find someone going through
what I was going through. I could talk to no one but my husband and a friend online.
My off-line friends were all Pro-Life and would never understand why I was even
The thought of a surgical abortion terrified me. I am
afraid that if I am knocked out, I will not wake up again. As I scroll though
websites, weeding out the scary pro-life and catholic ones, I came upon a planned
parenthood brochure on surgical abortions. As I read, I felt calmer. This didn't
sound like the doom and gloom that I had been taught as a teenager and they don't
have to knock me out. I can take a sedative.
After much crying, soul searching,
and stress, I decided to make an appointment for Thursday. We are going to go
to a place in the city. I am scared but my husband promises that he will stay
with me the entire time. I am over my fear of the actual abortion but I have an
intense fear that something will go wrong and I will get sick, causing everyone
to know what I did.
I kept telling my husband, if only I could find stories
of people who had abortions, I would feel so much better. That was when I found
your website late last night. Yesterday had been a long day for me. Morning sickness
kicked in and the extreme exhaustion. My newest nephew was christened and I had
to sit with my family and this new baby knowing what I am going to do this week.
I got a little sad. I needed reassurance and your website, your stories, were
there for me.
I am still terrified because that if just who I am. As long
as my husband is there with me, I know that he will not let a living soul harm
me. We talked about our futures and plan to have a child in a couple of years
after we are more financially stable. This whole experience has brought us closer
I am still a little scared about the procedure and the recovery
period (time until next period). If anyone can tell me what they felt and what
happened after, please email me. I just want to be prepared.Linnea
30 April 2001
more stories -- share your story
night has been long,
The wound has been deep,
The pit has been dark,
And the walls have been steep."
Refrain from "A poem
from the Million Man March"
(1995) by Maya Angelou