Lindsay's Story

I had my abortion 3 months ago. It was a decision I made, and my boyfriend agreed to. I just finished my first year in law school and know that I was not ready to have a baby. My sister had two kids with no fathers so I didn't want to be like her. It was really difficult to go through it alone. I couldn't talk to anyone and felt that although it was my decision, I didn't really have a choice.

There was a lot of crying, for both of us. The worse part was feeling it coming out [I picked the non-surgical method]. My boyfriend was there for me the whole time, wiping all the blood. I am sorry that this is graphic but I want people to know how the procedure is really like. The experience was the worse physical and emotional pain I had to go through.

I think that it was a good decision but I am still haunted by it. I know that if I ever get pregnant again, I definitely will not abort. Afterward, I wrote my baby a letter to say that I was sorry and hope that he/she forgives me. I even named the baby Jaime because I didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl. The strange thing is that I have always been like "if I ever get pregnant, I wouldn't even think twice about having an abortion". But once you are pregnant, everything in your body begs you not to abort.

In the end, it was a head and heart decision and my head won. The decision broke my heart. Please…please be very careful with sex. Just don't set yourself up into thinking that this would never happen to you.

Lindsay
February 20, 2007