When I was 17 years old, I found out I was pregnant for the first time by my boyfriend of two years, when I told him he curtly told me to leave him alone. Two months went by and I met James, we fell in love and he agreed to care for my child. When my son was nine months old I discoved that i was pregnant again.
I had become deeply depressed after the birth of my son and had been using cocaine to deal with the stress as well as to lose weight. I knew that the drug could have caused serious damage to my unborn baby, so James and I called the nearest clinic for miles. The lady on the phone was so kind as she described the different procedures and their costs, she also informed me that since I was making a saturday appointment, there would be protestors there.
I was numb as he drove me to the clinic. I was shocked as we pulled up to the building at all of the protestors standing in the rain, one supposed man of god even went as far as to shout "-be a f*cking man" to my boyfriend. After that the greeters quickly rushed us through security and into a waiting room.
The woman at the desk asked what kind of abortion i was getting and I said medical since the actual abortion would happen in the comfort of my own home. When I went in for the sonogram I was relieved to see that the baby didn't even have a heart beat, I was only 3 or 4 weeks along. After that I went upstairs to pay and go through a mandatory counseling session. I was amazed at how quickly the doctor administered my shot and how understanding everybody was, I didn't have to give them a reason for my being there, they just accepted it as my right and that was that.
When we left it was amazing at how different the protestors were. To them I was just another soul to be saved, so they were very friendly which annoyed me. When I inserted the pills, i asked James do half, so I knew that this was his choice as well. The Vicodin helped numb the physical pain as well as the emotional. When I started to bleed, I just told myself that it was just like getting your period late.
Over the following months I knew what I had to do, I got myself clean and when I was, I got pregnant again. My daughter just turned one, and I would be lying if I said i never thought about that baby, but I find comfort in knowing that if I had had that child, my wonderful daughter wouldn't be here to smile at me every day.
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