Well how do I start this? When I was 17 I had
high hopes for myself, dreams, ambition and goals. I thought the life I chose
would always be waiting there for me at any given time. At 15 I had ran in several
beauty contests and won most. I had scholarships to Auburn State University in
Accounting. Yes, I was it, you know, the one who would make it. Krystal
I began being sexually active with my boyfriend and was pregnant in a matter of
months. Married him at 17 when I was six months pregnant. Three weeks before I
gave birth to my daughter I received a letter from the Teen USA pageant saying
that I should be proud to know I would run for Miss Teen USA for the state of
Kentucky. My letter in response tore my heart out to have to admit that I had
totally thrown it all out the window.
When my daughter was 6 months
old I received a letter from Auburn State welcoming me to their institute. Again
I wrote a letter telling them that I couldn't. You see, even though my husband
worked two jobs and I did too, we struggled very hard just to eat, pay bills and
basically survive. I am 28 now and have two very intelligent daughters who I love
with all my heart - we have literally grown up together. My husband of ten years
is still here and we will make it. We always do.
The point of my story
is this. I was giving birth when I should have been walking down the runway like
all little girls dream of. When I said "I DO" it should have been me
saying "I"ll be there in two weeks" to college. I went to my high school
reunion the other day and I was the has-been, the one they said "remember
when" to. It really broke my heart to see that life went on with out me and
there is no turning back once you make that choice. Never.
If any teenager
reads this please understand that no one should change your mind on goals. Your
life is yours, make every choice count. Never look in your daddy's eyes and see
the tears of heartbreak because that is the worst feeling of all, to know that
you failed the the first man in your life. Yes he will always love you and yes
he will always show your pictures to anyone that will look at them but if you
look deep in his eyes you'll see the look of "did I fail her?"
of you that have not had sex, wait, go have fun with your friends, finish school,
be proud of yourself, never walk in a room and feel out of place or have someone
say "Poor girl, I don't know what happened." Those words hurt - I have heard them
in my dreams .
That's all I have to say. That's my life - don't make
13 July 1999
more stories -- share your story
1991, Washington State voters passed Initiative
120 guaranteeing all women in WA the right to choose or refuse birth control