Kim's Story

I find myself, for the first time, thoughtful, as I write a check for FWHC, and send this check with mixed emotions...something of a paradox.

I support you without question. Thinking back to fifteen or twenty years ago, I'm incredibly thankful that abortion was available to me, in different times, in vastly different circumstances, and I was trying so hard to be responsible about birth control. I know with certainty that I could not have been a mom at those times in my life. I had no question in my mind, then. I have learned to grieve the loss of those babies and my decisions to abortion them.

It's a different time now, and I'm in the process of international adoption. I want to be a mom more than anything else I can think of. And I'm thankful that somewhere in Guatemala, a woman has chosen to give birth to the child who will be hers and mine. Karma will connect us...She will lose her child, somehow, and will hopefully know also that her giving birth gives this child my life.

So, what's my paradox? The world is not perfect. I wish for more availability of birth control, I wish for more choice, I wish for the availability of abortion as an option. This has been my wish forever, for our country and around the whole entire world. Too many babies are born without love and without families.

And, in my search for motherhood and adoption research, I come to know that adoption should be a big part of choice, as well. If every woman in the world had birth control and abortion options, those of us who want to adopt would not have that option. My heart aches, also, knowing that the world will never be perfect...that there are babies born every day who will not have a life beyond poverty, death, the streets, orphanages, or foster care if they're lucky, maybe...And it's not just Third World countries, it's right here among us.

So, as I write a check to you for more than I've ever given in the past, I think about this paradox, my support for both adoption and abortion, and I'm giving to you and to adoption agencies also (those who are doing giving around the world, not just the one I'm working with), to somehow resolve my feelings of conflict.

With love and regard for the incredible work that you're doing,


more stories -- share your story

Birth Control Comparison - alll methods Abortion Info from Feminist Women's Health CenterShare your story
Poetry and Prose - by women about their reproductive lives Teens HealthResources for Women of Color
Feminist Abortion Clinics Real Life Abortion Stories from teens Questions and Answers


"Women are repeatedly accused of taking things personally. I cannot see any other honest way of taking them."
- Marya Mannes, born 1904