I had an abortion 3 months ago. I am 20 years old and in college. I had gotten out of a long relationship with someone I really loved, and started dating someone else to get my mind off of the pain and insecurity I felt.
My period was about 2 weeks late when I decided to go to the pharmacy to buy a home pregnancy test. I had taken them several times before always with a negative response. My period is a little abnormal, so I thought maybe I was late again and it was no big deal. As soon as I took it, it immediately showed a positive result, before I could even lay it on the counter. I fell to my knees and started crying. I could not belive that I was stupid enough to get pregnant with a REBOUND GUY! Mistakes happen, and I still dont know exactly how it happened, because we used protection everytime. The condom must have broken without either one of us realizing it.
I knew right away that I would get an abortion. Did I want to? No. But it was the best thing for my life.
I called my sister (who I had taken to get an abortion a year previously) and asked her for the number to the place we had her's done. I scheduled an appointment, but realized the next day that it would be on my ex- boyfriend's birthday that I had scheduled the appointment. I called back and rescheduled for 5 days later.
I told my boyfriend at the time, and he was totally supportive. We decided to split the cost evenly, since it does take two. I could have used my insurance to cover a part of it, but I didnt want my parents to find out.
I was very scared, and even considered not going through with it a couple days beforehand. I was very back and forth on the whole thing. I really thought it was a boy, and I came up with what I would name him.
The nurses said I was seven weeks along, but I know I was more like five because of when we had begun to have sex. I was very scared, and my best friend and sister went with me. The nurses held my hand when the doctor performed the procedure. All I could do was cry the entire time because I felt like I was murdering something.
I am glad that I got it done though, because I am only 20 years old, half-way through college, have since broken up with the father, and can hardly support myself financially. It was the right choice for me, but I will never do it again, even if I got pregnant tomorrow. I still have days when I cant get out of bed because I'm crying so bad and feel like I've ruined everything.
February 20, 2007
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