I'm shaking and tired and scared. I
had a secretive abortion over spring break. It was a surgical
abortion of which I had the support of both my parents. However, two months
later I am pregnant again despite taking an Emergency
Contraceptive. This time I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to tell my parents.
I thought I could handle it alone without the aid of the father and my parents
but I'm not so sure...
I don't have time to think about the baby really..I'm
taking two summer courses and working full-time...but I can't help but think about
it as the date I made for my appointment draws near...It's Monday night and I
am scheduled to go to the Planned
Parenthood clinic Thursday morning...
I don't have a car and I don't want to involve the father so I'm taking the bus...
I'm missing class on Thursday. I only hope that I will be able to drag myself
to my Statistics test Friday morning...Saturday I'm supposed to insert a suppository
and I'm supposed to have cramps and nausea and bleeding..I must
admit I'm not looking forward to this part...because, like the bus ride, I will
go through this part alone...cloaked in shame and despair...alone in my dorm room...good
thing I don't have a roommate...
I'm not sure what I will do...I guess I'll have to suck it up and put on a pad because I
have work at 3...I'm most scared of the pain...and being alone...possibly bleeding
to death...alone with out my parents knowing...my boyfriend at work....I also
worry that my baby won't forgive me...that GOD won't forgive me...I've been reading
lots of things about RU-486
on the web... oh well it's basically Tuesday now....I
have a paper to write for class tomorrow... I'll try not to think about this anymore... I wonder if I will be able to go out Saturday
evening...after I get off work..somehow I suspect that I won't....
11 June 2001
more stories -- share your story
can train ourselves to respect our feelings and to transpose them into a language
so they can be shared. And where that language does not yet exist, it is our poetry
which helps to fashion it." - Audre Lorde