I am 20 years old and today I had an abortion.
I pondered all night whether this was really what I wanted. Really what I wanted was for my fiancee of almost 2 years not to have left me for someone else. I was 16 when I had my first child-thankfully not by him. See I wouldn't so much have minded another child, just not by him because he was just a little too crazy in the head. The cost was 340 dollars and on one hand you could say it is worth it but on the other hand you go through alot to make it worth it.
I was told that it would feel like bad menstrual cramps. In actuality it felt like when I was in labor with my son. The doctor had no sympathy in him whatsoever. The pain is more or less a feeling that will make you want to jump out of your skin! It really doesn't last long though-its just tough making it through the 5-10 minutes.
As of right now, I don't regret it. Some people in my life know and some don't. I hate lying and keeping secrets but it is for my own safety because if the father of the child were ever to find out....there is no telling what he'd do.
February 16, 2007
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