Jamie's Story

My name is Jamie, and I am 15 years old. I had my first abortion done 4 days ago, Feb. 7. I was 6 weeks pregnant, and my baby was about the size of a garden pea. I know that if I had a baby right now, there's no way I could support it and give it the life it deserves. That's why I had an abortion. In some ways, I regret doing it and in other ways I know I did the right thing. But it's still hard. I will have to live the rest of my life living with the guilt of killing my baby, never hearing it cry or call me mommy, not knowing if it was a boy or a girl, and never being able to hold it. But I know God is watching down over me and he knows and he understands that I did the best thing. I chose not to bring my baby into this world right now, especially since she or he wouldn't have received the life it deserved. My boyfriend, the father of the baby, is almost 16 years old, and I know he couldn't have raised a baby either.

Since I had my abortion, there have been times I cry and cry and cry, regretting what I did, and other times I know God is taking good care of my baby and keeping it out of harm's way. There are good times and bad, ups and downs. But I know I did the best thing for me and my baby. I hope many other girls out there read my story. I would love to hear your story and what you have to say.

much luv,

10 February 2002

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"Perhaps every lesbian has the secret hope that her book will dissolve homophobia, even in those straight people who, before they read the book, were unable to say the word lesbian without an overtone of disgust."
Mary Meigs, in Karla Jay and Joanne Glasgow, eds., Lesbian Texts and Contexts, 1990