Helen's Story
"You have to be careful when choosing a clinic"

Today, I had my abortion. Initially, I made my appointment in a clinic which I looked up from the yellow pages. I chose it because of its location: it's on Park Avenue, I thought it must be a good clinic if its in that neighborhood.

When I got there, I first greeted by an absurd looking man at the entrance of the building, he was from a pro-life organization, I guess, he grabbed my arm, and told me that a life was going to be killed by me, and how awful a thing it was, and blah, blah, blah...

This was not the worst, when I finally made it to the clinic, I was once engulfed in a room packed of people, from right outside of the elevator to the actual waiting room, there is people absolutely everywhere. When I made my way through to the registration desk with my boyfriend, everyone was looking up on us. I felt so strongly that I was not belonging to that place, and I did not want to have my abortion there. I didn't feel like I was an individual human being in there, the staff didn't care I was having the toughest time in my life, I requested for some anesthetic for my surgery, and they said they didn't provide any! Though, I know very well, I shouldn't make any more delay for my operation, I finally decided I had to leave there.

So, a while later, I ended up being on the street with my boyfriend, search for abortion ads from newspapers, and calling for an appointment, one by one, hoping that we would have better luck this time. I felt so terrible at that time, I thought the whole thing was endless, I didn't know when we would find our 'ideal' clinic.

Finally, we decided to go to one with the price which was higher than the others, this may sounds stupid, but, we had to judge on that, we didn't no any other way to find a good clinic. We didn't know where to ask for recommendations. Luckily, the second choice was definitely a good one. It was a small clinic, the nurses there are warm, and all I saw were smiling faces. At last, I could have some individual attention from a professional in there. The doctor in there actually recommend me to have anesthetic, because I had never had a child before, and it was my first time. It is a good thing for me if I had no memory of the process, and it is good for him, because there would be no distraction from me, would there be any reactions during the process because of the pain.

Now I have my surgery done, I too, agree that for the first timer, anesthetic is definitely necessary, for both mentally and physically. Of course it has to be sure that there is no allergy background for it. I had no pain at all, and no memory, well, the only bad memory was from that time being in the first clinic. Another important thing is, the choice of the clinic. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my abortion in the first clinic, I would probably end up having a painful surgery, I would remember the process for a very long time, and having nightmare for a very long time, which I don't think I can bear.

Hope u find it helpful for reading this. Good luck, if u are going to have a surgery, and relax, there really is nothing need to be worry of.

Helen
March 1999

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feminism =  The ability to live every day as a celebration of who I am racially, ethnically, sexually, genderally, culturally, socially, linguistically, spiritually, politically. To be in my full potential.
Rosario