Just yesterday I went through with an abortion. I really regret having done so. You see, I'm married and didn't tell my husband about it. He really wanted the child and to see me pregnant. I on the other hand didn't want either. I saw the experience as my life coming to an end; felt I was going through the hard part of parenting for his sake because I would be the one to suffer physically and would be home alone with the kid while he was out of town at conferences and business. He still got to drink and do what ever he wanted; I would have to get fat and have my body further destroyed as I have already had one child. I also have only been married to him for 8 months and we have had many disagreements that I didn't think would ever end and only get worse. I have been divorced before for 10 years and have struggled to raise my son largely on my own - only to have him turn against me and leave me for his father at the age of 12. I so much didn't want to go through that again. I have no choice but to grow from this and become a stronger and better person, no matter what. I don't want to tell my husband what I have done but at the same time I do. But, I have chosen not to tell him to keep him from hurting and also to hopefully keep him and try to show him how much better I am as a person. But if he finds out, the chips will fall where they may.........
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