I was 35 years old and a single mother. I met a man whom I thought was wonderful and about 6 months into our relationship I became pregnant.
I was flooded with emotions from europhia to panic about the thought of another child on the way. He was supportive some times then elusive and distant which did not help my situation.
He eventually said "he was not ready to be a father " and I should abort the baby. I could not think the abortion process through and immediately after he said it I was in the clinic the next day and aborted my 6 week old child.
After the procedure he told me our relationship was over - I was devastated beyond words. I was alone with no one to confide in or any support after the procedure. I regretted immensely that I had done it and could not separate my emotions to pin point whether my pain was from my child gone or from my b/friend going. I begged him not to leave and to give us a second chance but he said in no uncertain terms it was done and he never wanted to see me or talk to me again.
I spent many many sleepless nights crying and in physical pain from my abortion.
I eventually went numb and could not feel anymore. I completely caved in emotionally and now 4 months later I still have never spoken to my ex nor have I healed emotionally. I never felt I could reach out to any of my friends to tell them what I was facing for fear of judgement on my hasty decision.
MY ADVICE: You need support after the procedure. It was very difficult for me and I still live with regrets today. I may be this way for a number of reasons - I had to deal with two losses at the same time. I just want women to know that ensure you have support and reach out to people. Do not lock people out like I did.
February 12, 2007
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