I have an abortion story, which I think illustrates
Autumn's point that guilt or distress over abortion is learned. I have had two
abortions, eight years apart. Elizabeth
The first abortion I had after a relationship
with a boyfriend who broke up with me. At first, I felt some guilt over it because
my family was religious, and they were horrified I had gotten pregnant in the
first place. However, the overwhelming feeling for me was utter relief. I soon
realized the guilt was borrowed, and not truly my own.
The second abortion
happened when I had been married a year, and desperately wanted to have the baby.
Unfortunately, I have a serious medical condition which makes pregnancy extremely
dangerous. I had been using birth control,
but got pregnant anyway. I was devastated to have to abort, but that's because
the time was right for me to have a child. It was with my husband, with whom I
wanted to build a family. I felt horrible about the abortion because I wanted
the baby, NOT because I felt bad about abortion.
So for me, it's the
context and the people around you that creates how you will react. Do I feel shame
over either abortion? NO. I had to do what was right for me at the time. However,
I feel sadness that I couldn't have the child I wanted. Nuances that anti-choice
folk just can't seem to get a handle on.
13 September 2000
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