Deirdre's Story
"By the end of the week"

This will be my third. The body tricks you. I don't want to take a pill not to get pregnant and I don't want to take a pill to end a pregnancy, nor take a pill to calm me down after I have an abortion.

I am afraid my friend won't want me anymore after this but he is so distant now it really doesn't matter. I don't really know how he feels except I'm very sure he is relieved not to be a father again.

I am 38 years old and this may be the last time I ever get pregnant. I think they are twins. I don't want to feel the tragic drama or plunge into depressive melancholy but I feel myself slipping. I feel very alone. It is so unfair not to be able to find the love I need with somebody who would want to have a baby with me. I don't want to raise a child by myself, that's not fair either. So I'm grateful I am safe to be able to make this choice.

We need better birth control.

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