"By the end of the week"
This will be my third. The body tricks you. I
don't want to take a pill not to get pregnant and I don't want to take a pill
to end a pregnancy, nor take a pill to calm me down after I have an abortion.
I am afraid my friend won't want me anymore after this but he is so
distant now it really doesn't matter. I don't really know how he feels except
I'm very sure he is relieved not to be a father again.
I am 38 years
old and this may be the last time I ever get pregnant. I think they are twins.
I don't want to feel the tragic drama or plunge into depressive melancholy but
I feel myself slipping. I feel very alone. It is so unfair not to be able to find
the love I need with somebody who would want to have a baby with me. I don't want
to raise a child by myself, that's not fair either. So I'm grateful I am safe
to be able to make this choice.
We need better birth
30 October 2000
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