the age of sixteen I got pregnant and had my first abortion. I am a liberal feminist
and very supportive of women's rights and really had no reservations about the
procedure. I had never wanted children and knew that I was not in the position
to support a child.
not until after the abortion that the depression hit. every time I see a small
child I cry, and I still get very depressed. I try very hard to think of the life
the child would have had, with me working at a fast food restaurant and spending
my weekends partying and getting in trouble. I realized that abortion is a woman's
right, but it is not right for me, and vowed to never go through that procedure
again, at any cost.
now want to be a mother, and was depressed and troubled to find out that my fiancÚ
and I were unable to have children. as we were life long partners we engaged in
unprotected sex. I am now nineteen and fully self supporting. I have a great job
and a wonderful apartment with an extra bedroom: an office that could be a nursery.
I had been dating the same man with intent to marry in the spring and besides
the fact that we were infertile, life was great, except for the fact that he demeaned
me publicly, beat me privately, and spent all my money while I was out working
two jobs and going to school full-time. I left him and found out the next day
I was pregnant.
called the clinic immediately and scheduled my second abortion. I didn't bat an
eye or think. this time I know that I
did the right thing.
am very open about my abortions, all of my friends know about the first one, but
because of my ex-fiance's abusive behavior only my best friends know about the
second one. Now a close friend is having a second trimester abortion, hers also
stemming from an even more violent relationship in which her boyfriend tried to
induce miscarriage by beating her abdomen. She knows that I
will be driving her to both parts of the two day procedure and supporting her
all the way.
I want my voice to be heard to all. I was very young (and still am) and I was
very scared. Please know that you are not alone. There are so many of us who have
to be strong and make these decisions for our lives behind closed doors. We should
not be ashamed, it is so unhealthy to make these life altering decisions alone.
Please find someone to talk to. I had only one person the
first time and no one the second time.
of women worldwide make this decision yearly, in conditions that are much less
safe than for all of us. Please think of these women's strength and find your own strength,
and know that, whatever it is, your decision needs to be based on what is right
for you, not for your boyfriend or his parents or anyone else. A baby can be the
single most wonderful thing in a woman's life,
but it can also be extremely destructive.
be ruled by your body, please feel that you have the power to decide yourself.
Until all women realize this, none of us are truly free. I can't decide what is
right for any woman, but I know that my decisions, no matter how upsetting, were
right and I am a much happier and more fulfilled being because of them. I can
wait until I get married and can give my baby the life I
deserve, so they too can be a happy and fulfilled adult like me.Dani
more stories -- share your story
males were more likely to abstain from sex in 1995 than in 1988, a trend reflecting
more conservative attitudes that may be the result of AIDS education.
P.S. The best movie
on this subject is "If these walls could talk" which deals with abortion
issues of three generations. but grab a box of tissues and a best friend, because
it is very sad, and also very inspirational.