Crystal's Story

I met my boyfriend when I was 18. After going out for about 2 months I found out I was pregnant. We both still lived with our parents were working together at a department store making minimum wage and had no clue what to do.

We went to a abortion clinic and took a pregnancy test and made a appointment for a abortion for the week after. The night before the appointment he broke down and told me how he really wanted to keep this baby and we decided that going the next day to the clinic wasn't what we really wanted to do.

We kept putting off telling our parents and the next thing I know I am 6 months pregnant and starting to show so I had no choice but to tell. My parents flew of the wall, his parents also. But after the smoked cleared, things settled and I ended up having the 2 most supportive families I could dream of. We had a baby girl on 7-13-95, perfect in every way. We moved in together and both worked and tried really hard to get a long but everyday pressures were to much for us to handle and we ended up having a break up that tore everyone's lives apart.

I was then living on my own and I had lost my job and was living on welfare. He was back at his mom's doing god knows what and never helped me. I couldn't believe this was once the guy I fell madly in love with.

I ended getting a job that turned my life around. I found a job that was paying me $15 an hour and 40 hrs a week. My ex was going into the military. By now we were 21. We didn't even speak. When he saw our daughter it was through his mom who I remained pretty close to. He now had a new girlfriend and a whole new life.

One day he calls me out of the blue and says he wants to come over to talk, well one thing led to another and he ended up sleeping together. He left for boot camp a week later. The next month I found out I was pregnant again. When he found out he was extremely mad and said if I kept this baby he would have nothing to do with it. I told his mom and she promised me she wouldn't tell anyone. Two days later I walk into my mom's house and everyone is yelling at me and telling me how my life is going to be ruined.

Me and my mom made an appointment at the abortion clinic for the next day. While I was in the waiting room I was just a zombie. I just couldn't wait until this was over. I get into the room and the doctor checks my cervix to see how thick it is and asks the nurse to get a sonogram machine. He does a sonogram and tells me I am 14 weeks pregnant. I knew that was wrong and I told him. He gave me a number to call and make a appointment with another clinic that does abortions from 14-16 weeks. So my mom and I leave and she was just being the most unsupportive person I was utterly alone. We go to the other clinic 2 days later and they tell me they need to do another ultrasound because the first clinic didn't fax over the first sonogram and the doc starts the sonogram and she's taking about 10 minutes taking all kinds of pictures and asks me to wait a minute and gets another doc and they are both looking at the pictures. The second doctor left and the doctor turns the lights on and raised my table and tells me I am having twins!! I thought I was going to fall off the table. I couldn't believe I was hearing this. I told the doctor that I couldn't do this and to get my mom so I could talk this over with my mom. I told my mom I wasn't going to do have the abortion and I wanted to go home.

On the way home things were pretty quiet. I didn't hear from the dad for about 4 months. When I told him it was twins he called me a liar and that was the end of that. We didn't talk until the twins were 1 month old. He was in Bosnia when they were born and me and his mom were not on any speaking terms so my mom called her and told her I had twins. She came to the hospital and brought me flowers and apologized for everything.

The dad came home and we got along really good and I could really see a difference in him. Him and the girl he was seeing broke up when she found out I was pregnant and the dad realized the worst thing was leaving me when I needed him most. Now we are getting married and are going to raise our 3 perfect angels together. It's been a long road and pretty bumpy along the way. and I am sure that we will have thousands of bumps to come but we are willing to do it together.

If anyone needs someone to talk to, whether you are keeping the baby and don't know how to handle it or having a abortion, I am here to talk to. I have been there and know what it's like to have to handle a situation that seems to have no way out - but talking helps.

thanks for reading my story.
take care,
4 February 1999

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