I will be getting my first -- and, God willing, only -- abortion in five days. I'm 6 weeks along. Today is my 21st birthday.
Like in many women's stories, I got too comfortable with my long-term partner and got a little lax on the birth control. Again, like many women, I knew immediately when that carelessness came back to bite me. I could just tell. I wasn't even surprised when I saw the positive test.
I knew right away what I was going to do. I have always been pro-choice. You know how when some women get pregnant, they talk about how they felt like a mother, right away, and loved their child instantly? I didn't have that feeling. I just felt sick. I was so tired and crampy, and terrified of what my fiance would think.
He's been extremely supportive, a rock in this hard time. We want to have a big family one day, but with us both in college and working full time, now is not the time.
In the state where I live, you have to look at what's called a 24-hr Informed Consent form. It's describes abortions and the alternatives, and you have to see it 24 hours before you go in to have it, and bring it in. It's much more about the ALTERNATIVES, though. Women have to see what their fetus looks like at their stage, and they have a page on parenting and prenatal care. It just seemed cruel. I also was shocked to see all the pro-life stuff disguised as something to help a person in this situation -- it's one thing to have a different opinion, another to trick people and show them things intentionally to make them feel bad. It's hard enough as it is.
I wish I wasn't in this position, but I am. I have to learn from my mistakes. Other people may want to beat you up about it, and so may society, but remember who you are making this decision for. Learn from the error you've made, and come out a better person. It may not be a positive experience by any means, but I feel like abortion doesn't have to be entirely negative.
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