Bettina's Story

What I did is not bothering me, but I think about it everyday and wanted to write
about it.

I just turned 21 a few months ago. I have been off the pill for about 5 months and waiting to get back on when I get insurance. I have had sex with many people
in Orlando, but always with protection. When I went home over Christmas break I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I have had a very off and on love-hate relationship with
for about 2 years, after we dated for two years. One night when I was home we went to the bar and got very drunk and had sex later that night.

Three days after I got back to Orlando he called me and said please get the morning after pill, you still can. I said, "why are you freaking out? I have sex all the time in Orlando and I'm fine". He said, "well the condom broke." I was in shock and asked him why he hadn't told me. He said, "I did that night." Of course I did not remember that because I was drunk. Well I just shrugged him off and hoped I would get my
period in a few weeks. At the end of the month when I was supposed to get my period I hadn't. I had been feeling sick at work and I just knew that I was pregnant. My roommate and I, who's period was also late took a pregnancy test. Mine looked different, so my roommate went out and bought a second test for me.

When it said pregnant I was speechless and I just cried. It explained why I got so hungover a few days before (I never get hungover) and I was sick!!! Why I
was getting sick, feeling sick and bloated.

I called my ex, who's not very nice to me as it is and told him I was pregnant and screamed at him. He is not a very sexually active person like I am and of course when I have sex with him, an ex from out of town I get pregnant. I knew that I had to have an abortion and I have always said I would if I got pregnant before age 24. I live with two 21 year old girls, I'm a server and I'm not done with school yet. It would be a horrible life for the child. My ex gave me the money, but he was very unsupportive. I just kept thinking I can't believe there is a baby egg in me!! ME! The day of the abortion I was very nervous and upset and I spoke to my ex on the phone and he
asked me, "why are you dwelling on this so much?" I told myself after the abortion he was cut off for good. This is the biggest thing that has ever happened to me and he did nothing but upset me more. Thank God I have very good girlfriends and a younger sister who helped me through it.

All I remember on the day of the abortion was lying on the table thinking I am 4 weeks pregnant and I am only 21! The very friendly doctor put an IV in my arm and then I woke up crying hysterically. I tend to get very emotional when on heavy drugs and of course abortions are big on emotions too. I've been feeling some side affects, nothing serious and I have been crying very easily. I do not regret my decision at all. It was a big eye opener for me. I am already back on the pill and I am picking and chosing who I have sex with much more carefully.

The day before the abortion I was told to go and speak with a woman at this clinic, who I thought was going to give me some sort of conseltation. This woman told
me that I was killing a baby, that I was immature and all sorts of non sense and she really upset me. After speaking with the people at the clinic where I got the
abortion done they made me feel so much better. I am very happy that I made the choice and I hope women will read this story who are unsure and know that it's
okay to do if they are having doubts. I am ready to go back to school next semester, I play soccer, I go out and I work a lot. This was the best thing for me and the child.

Bettina
February 20, 2007