At the beginning of my senior year in
high school, age 17, I became pregnant by my boyfriend of over a year. At first,
I planned to have an abortion right away and not tell anyone, but it quickly became
more complicated. I was involved in cheerleading, and had a chance to qualify
for State in another sport. I didn't want to give up any practice time for either,
so I waited until after State. I ended up qualifying but doing lousy, and I was
upset that I had ruined a big part of my senior year.
One day my mom asked
me if I was pregnant (I was about 3 months along and starting to show) and I answered
yes. She made me go tell my father and they were both very upset with me. In the
end, my parents agreed that I should have an abortion (I sometimes think so that
their own reputations weren't ruined) and my father took me to the clinic. I was
there for over four hours and it was very uncomfortable.
Now, over a year
later, I still haven't gone a day without thinking about what I did. Even so I
am sure that the decision I made was the right one for me at that time in my life,
even if I made that decision for selfish reasons at the time. I know now that
what I did was right, even though I still feel guilty sometimes.
was terrific through the whole thing. We are still together and we still cry together
about our mistake and its consequences, but we are looking forward to the day
when we can do it right.Bethany
4 February 1999
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