When I didn't get my period on time I knew right away what happened. I bought a pregnancy test a few days later and was bursting into tears when I saw the two lines. How could it happened to me? Being an educated person and all I felt myself so dumb with all the birth control options out there. I just thought that it will never happen to me.
I already have two wonderful boys that I love very much. Having two jobs and running around all day I knew that it was impossible to have another baby. There was only one option and I wanted to end my pregnancy as soon as possible because I felt guilty that I could not let this life in me grow. I called the Cedar River Clinic the next day and had an appointment for 2 days later. I was only 5 weeks along and chose the abortion pill since it was more natural. I tried to keep myself together during the clinic stay but after I swallowed the first pill that stopped this pregnancy I just bursted into tears. The nurse that helped me through all this was very calming. She told me about her own abortion and we talked about our feelings. So I still was very sad she made me feel better and gave me the feeling that it was ok.
Knowing that my husband would never had let me do this I could not talk to him about it. So it was important to talk with somebody.
One day later I inserted the other four pills. I was told to expect havy bleeding with big blood cloths. Four hours after I inserted the pills I began cramping. The cramping continued for almost a whole day but the bleeding was very light and started with the cramping. The bleeding stoped after about 6 days. I did not see the pregnancy tissue and overall it was way less of a deal then I would ever have thought. It was like a very light period that just took a little longer. I called the clinic twice because I did not see any big blood cloths or havy bleeding. I thought that it had not worked. But my check-up two weeks later confirmed that my medical abortion was successful.
Now after I had time to come down I feel that I did the right thing and I am a better mother to my children. I thank the nurse at the clinic for the difficult time that she has helped me trough.
I am also thankful that I had a choice.
February 22, 2007
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