I got my tubes
tied in '87 when I was 23. I had to practically beg the doctor to do the procedure
since he felt that I was too young and had no children. I never wanted to be a
mother. Even as a child, I knew that parenthood was not for me.
later, I found out that the doctor did not do the procedure right. Although I
always had this weird feeling that I was not sterilized properly, I was still
shocked to find out that I was pregnant! Again, I knew what my decision would
be: have an abortion.
At the clinic, I encountered protesters shouting
the usual slogans. No way were these people going to stop me. I was accosted by
one female anti after the procedure. Even though I was still medicated and needed
my friend to help me to her car, I told that woman to mind her own business and
I stood tall and proud. I refused to cower or be ashamed.
After the abortion,
I knew that my life would never be the same. I had to get involved. I began by
writing letters to newspapers anytime an "anti" article was printed.
I wore pro-choice buttons and feminist T-shirts almost everywhere I went and shared
my story if a comment was made. A couple of years later I joined NOW. Shortly after, I found out that there
was a local NOW chapter and became active in clinic defense
as an escort for the patients. Again, I keep sharing my story with the patients.
I also am an activists for Catholics for a Free
Choice although I no longer practice that religion and refer to myself as
an atheist since I no longer believe in a god.
I got another tubal
ligation in 1996 and made sure my doctor was pro-choice. He heard my story
many times so he was sure to do this procedure right! I never regretted my decision
to abort. I keep working to have abortion de-stigmatized
because I view it as just another medical procedure. I don't cry over a "lost"
baby like the religious right would like. If I was forced to have the child like
the young student in Nikki's story, the child probably
would have endured the same type of abusive treatment because I know that I would
resent being forced to have a child that I did not want.
Too often, the
"good" mother is the only accepted role for women. Look at any women's
magazine and usually an article about the ticking biological clock is featured.
Most religions only value women as broodmares for the church. I am 35 years old
and am grateful that I had a choice.Allison
22 June 1999
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life you did not have, I will live - I will live the life of a little girl"
- Mendy's poem