I'm 18 almost 19 and a freshman in
college. i've always had to keep up appearances cause i never wanted anyone to
look down at me. people were always saying how smart i was, i guess i'm not as
smart as they thought. me and my boyfriend had been together for a year on and
off. we had been having unprotected sex from the beginning but since i'd never
come out pregnant i figured i was lucky. stupid is more like it. i told him and
he said he'd be there for me but he wasn't it really did not shock me cause that's
how he was.
i haven't told my parents and I'm almost five months. every
time i go to have the abortion some obstacle gets in my way. i keep thinking maybe
it's a sign for me to keep it but i can't. i don't want my baby not to have a
father cause that's what'll happen. i've scheduled the appointment for friday
and I'm hoping to have it done. i really don't want to but i want to move on and
basically forget about this.
the one thing i really regret in not telling
my parents i know they would have been disappointed but at least i would've had
some type of support. sure i had my best friend who did everything she could to
help me. i just hope i will be able to move on and forgive myself. the thing that
really gets me is will my baby forgive me too.
thanks a lot,
Tue, 16 Mar 1999
e-mail me if you can help me get through this, i don't know what to do anymore.
I would be interested in learning more about the obstacles
that "got in your way" and your reaction to them.... so as to help make
choice more accessible to others...
I would like to hear anything else you
have to say...
first off i was not getting financial support from the father so i had to struggle
to get the money i needed. then the first time i went to have a sonogram i was
longer in the pregnancy than i had thought so the cost was more than i could afford.
i went to a cheaper place with a set amount in mind cause i knew from the previous
sonogram how long i was but this place did another one and told me i was even
longer. i told the father i needed money but still he was no help. so i was begging
people to help me.
my best friend even asked people she knew and her own
mother for the money but it was unsuccessful. so finally my last resort was to
use my parents insurance for it but as of this moment i don't know what is going
to happen with that. i'm still waiting to hear. hopefully all will go well and
i can go through with it on friday cause i really want to move on with my life.
one good thing came out of this, i realized what kind of person the father is
and me and him are no longer together and never will be again. thanks for the
17 March 1999
more stories -- share your story
rights truly are indivisible. Everyone has them or no one has them. And everyone
must have the full range of reproductive rights,
or you don't really have them at all." -Gloria Feldt, Planned
Parenthood, December 1998.