i look around,
I see nothing but loneliness.
i feel loneliness,
I want to cry but cant.
i want to cry.
I feel anger and pain.
i feel anger and pain.
I feel shame.
i feel shame,
I want to purge.
want to purge ,
I try to find what i am feeling.
i try to find what my feelings are.
I find nothing but worthlessness and hate.
i find all of these things inside.
I feel nothing but all of these things
inside fighting against one another and then even have more hate. Hate for myself
that i cant even think right.
Then the thinking
even gets worse, bad enough that i go and purge it all away.
Then what do
i have left?
I only have that demon inside
smiling at me from within.
The feared, shameful, guilty, abandoned, terrorized,
helpless, worthless, lonely me.
is Tammie, and I am bulimic/anorexic, and i have had this for 28 years now. I
am now at my end, need help and a friend told me to write what i was feeling at
that very moment and i did. This is what i wrote.
on back for more poems.
To share your poem, send email to stories -AT- FWHC.org
diary is a mirror telling the story of a dreamer who, a long long time ago went
through life the way one reads a book."
- Anais Nin